Love or Lust?

Monday, September 7, 2009
Oftentimes people get to use words which may not be appropriate or those of totally different meaning. Frustratingly, among those commonly misused words is love.

By definition, love means to feel tender affection for somebody. If that is so, what then separates love from lust? The word lust per se doesn’t really involve deep feelings; it is mere physical attraction rather than emotional attraction in short.

What’s strange about love is its complexity. Even the bible has its own definition, or more of like a checklist, of what love is: “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves...” - 1 Corinthians 13:4-1. It doesn’t just stop there as it gets more complicated with the many types of love. But who really cares about complications? A lot of us love complications anyway. It just proves that we don’t settle for less most of the time. The irony now comes in as a lot of people are fine with just lusting.

Perhaps one reason why people choose lust over love is fear. When you love, you risk a lot of things and there’s even more to that. Love is a very demanding word. It asks a lot or shall I say, demands a lot. The fear of hurting to most, if not all of us, is one barrier or reason for us to keep ourselves from loving. But come to think of it, there’s just this thin line between love and hurting. As they say, it is impossible to love without hurting. Why do we tend to seek the dark side when we have an option to see the lighter side in the first place?

For a couple of months now, I opted to stay away from complications, from commitment, from love. This is not because I am afraid of hurting but because I no longer want to hurt somebody else. Sometimes, it’s better to stay away from something good because that good mean the exact opposite to somebody. It doesn’t necessarily have to end there. If there’s a problem within you that calls for a change then, by all means, do so. After all, there’s no harm in trying and I believe there’s nothing wrong to choose to be better.

When somebody comes and knocks at your door, don’t settle for lust, instead, take the extra mile, risk, and use your right to love. If you find happiness in it, there should be no hesitation at all. You can never tell how long that person who makes you happy can stay. If the person doesn’t stay for long then don’t force it! There must be a reason for him/her not to make it in the next chapters of your life. If it didn’t work, at least you tried. That doesn’t make you lesser a person anyway.

Life is merely about choices. In each chapter of your life you will encounter choices which are tantamount to your life’s direction and it’s just up to you on what path to take. Go for something that makes life worthwhile. Life is too short to just play around with and it’s worth noting, most of all, that you are entitled to one lifetime only. We may not have everything it takes to enjoy life but we’re given this life to enjoy everything as much as we could. Opt for the best and don’t settle for something below your capability. Take the risk and exercise your privilege to love. Live life to its fullest and soon enough, you’ll see how good it can get.


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