What Now?

Where am I? Can somebody tell me? Who am I? What is this I'm dealing with? These are among the questions that swarm my mind at this point. You know what they say about change. That it's the only constant thing in this world and blah. I have long accepted that but never have I expected that it can come aplenty at once. Was this ever in the definition of change or was I blind enough not to see it was actually there?

Was I too comfortable with the life I had not so long ago? Was I terribly "used to" the way it has been? Is this the price I pay for not being too ready?

Did I ever entertain the fact that I'd be handling almost a new set of people at work or was I just so optimistic that change will hit me slowly? Will I be able to cope with this or will I meet Mr. Epic Fail this time? For the longest time I have been trying to be flexible with work, with the tasks I have and with the people I face almost everyday. But to bend me this much is something I'm unsure to endure.

When was the last time I told myself that I was ready to settle down with the one I love? It seemed to me as though it was just yesterday. But what is this that I'm faced with right now? Has it gone to waste now that I'm broken? Is this what they meant when they said "People come and go?" If so, must I say I wasn't completely ready yet? Am I ready to face history repeat itself? Or should I just dump the long experience they say is called " true love?" Will I be happy if ever I take the wrong path again and will I ever get any consolation at all? Should I decide now, later, soon or never?

I don't know where home is now that I'm lost. But even if I knew the way home, would I ever recognize it now that it's no longer the way it was 5 years ago? Can anyone point to me which door to enter, which room to choose and how to start as if nothing much has changed? What time should I sleep, eat and go to work? Is the time over here still the same with that of others'? Should I secure another calendar to guide me with the right date or do I rather need a map to lead me to a specific direction as compared to my obscure route now?

The answers to all these questions remain unclear, unseen and unheard of. As of this writing I don't know what to do, how to deal with all these changes at once and how I could possibly move forward without dropping the ball. I fear failure and I know it's just around the corner. All I'm certain of is I have to be strong, lead by example to my subordinates without showing the weak part of me. I have to deal with these in any way that I see beneficial.


With fingers crossed, here it goes...

Tell me, how should I start?

What now???

Ironically Ironic

In my venture into the corporate world I've realized that corruption is not a term exclusively coined for government or politics for that matter. I've seen a lot of similarities between the outside world and the "formal" internal of the corporate world. Nothing's new in my opinion - crime, politics to mention a few are also real life situations in a company too. Placing into context the nation's sitting in possessing quite a number of incompetent people makes me remember how it is in work. The best thing is I'm not the only one who has noticed it. Well, it's basically the irony of life. Not everyone has the guts to spill it out and voice out.

You'd agree with me when I say that life isn't only ironic; it's unfair too. Notice how much people give a damn about hierarchy? Look at the real-life setting in this side of the world, is our faith in hierarchy working? Apparently not. We've elected a number of leaders who we want to be out of governance in the long run. Could it be because of wrong choices? I'll leave that for you to answer. If majority have indeed picked the wrong people in power, don't you think it's unfair to the people who never wanted those leaders to be in those positions?


It seems like the injustice doesn't end there. It exists in the corporate world too. Take a closer look at how we have to kiss ass just to please bigwigs. I'm sure, there will always be someone in any company better than them but despite that, we conform to their demands. Adding insult to injury, we can't even be straightforward in addressing what is bluntly going wrong. We need to be like a kitten trying to get a point across with a very little voice as much possible. Well trust me, it doesn't work all the time and it doesn't necessarily have to be like that as well. After all, what's so wrong with being straightforward in stressing out what you think and know is right?

With all those said, I come up with a simple thought - if government can get lambasted because of poor performance or even with simple lapses then why can't it be possible in the corporate world? Your first argument would most probably be that government and the corporate world are two separate sectors. I say - If government earn revenue from its people and private companies earn from its employees then what sets the big difference?

If this archipelago is covered by the so-called "democracy" then I suppose that companies cannot, in any way, hinder that to pass through their windows. We need to exercise a right we, more often than not, abandon. Because at the end of the day someone has to voice out and do the right thing even if it means being deviant.